PIZZA (Script)

Ricky: So Mat, I hear you went to a pretty groovy party the other night in the city?
Mat: Yeah, apart from getting the damn pizza, it was pretty cool.
Ricky: What do you mean?


Voice from afar: Hey Smeg, get us a pizza!
Mat: Yeah, Ok. (Dials phone) Ok, I think it's 131 6666. Here we go.
PG: Hello and welcome to Pizza House. How may I service you?
Mat: Yeah, I'd like to order a couple of dozen of those round flat things you sell.
PG: Uh... Sir, do you mean a pizza?
Mat: Possibly...
PG: Ok, and what would you like on your pizza?
Mat: Can I please see a menu?
PG: Pardon sir?
Mat: I want to see a menu.
PG: Sorry sir, this is a telephone call.
Mat: Damn! I forgot you don't have videophones back in 1999.
PG: Uh, ha ha ha. That's a good one sir, but I still don't understand what you mean.
Mat: Oh, just forget I'm from the future. Can I have a steamed cheese pizza with, err, mushrooms. Hang on. They'll start fighting.
PG: Sir, can you please make up your mind?
Mat: I like pepperoni, so could I have 52 pieces on the pizza, prepared to a fractal equation. I'll just read it out to you...
PG: I'm sorry sir, but we have a policy on prank phone calls. Can you please state your order or please hang up.
Mat: Fine then. Two Italian pizzas, no mushrooms. Unless they're the hallucinogenic sort.
PG: Sorry sir, but we are not allowed to sell magic mushrooms any more, so I'll just give you some normal ones. And how would you like to pay for those?
Mat: Do you take the SaddamCard?
PG: Just checking sir. I'm sorry, We don't seem to... No we don't know of that one here sir.
Mat: Oh well. I guess I'll be paying in cash then.
PG: Okay that will be $24.95. And your address would be?


Voice over: 20 minutes later
FX of cars/doors/party

PG: Order for a couple of pizzas.
Mat: Yeah that's me.
PG: That will be $24.95.
Mat: Will you accept Altarian dollars?
PG: (Screams as he runs away)
Party Guy: What's with him?
Mat: Who knows? Pizza (out loud voice)?


Notes: PG = Pizza Guy. Background music is "Zorba's Dance" by LCD. Also avaliable in MP3 form.